The discomfort turned into attentive listening, and emotions overflowed from the regret.
What wells up in my heart is a thirst for victory, along with feelings of gratitude and camaraderie.
I want to win. I must win.
To bring smiles to everyone involved with the blue and red, the player wearing number 39 runs passionately on the pitch.
With the long whistle signaling six games without a win, Teruhito NAKAGAWA let out a long sigh.
"We couldn't win again..." The frustration tightens in my chest.
"Pathetic..." anger wells up inside me.
I am sorry...... I was overwhelmed with guilt.
"..."
The overwhelming emotions lost control and naturally overflowed. It seemed to me that it embraced all the 'now' of the people involved with the blue and red.
The match on Aug 17 (Sat) of the 2024 Meiji Yasuda J1 League Sec. 27 against Verdy ended in a 0-0 draw. After the match, there were boos at Ajinomoto Stadium. The following week, player Nakagawa shook his head and expressed this.
"Right now, we are not getting the results. There are people who question what kind of football we are aiming for. But if there is an answer to that, we are playing that kind of football. In life, there are times when things go well and times when they don't. The same goes for the team. I want to ask how our lives are doing. If everything in life were going well, we wouldn't have to struggle. It is during tough times that the team comes together. The feelings we have for each match, and what we need to do to win, all start to grow individually. It's about how much we can hold on and turn it into a victory. If we can do that, we can become stronger one step at a time."
I have always wanted to win more than anyone else. However, in the following week’s Sec. 28 match against Kyoto Sanga F.C., we suffered a complete defeat, losing 0-3. Nevertheless, there were people who made me take a deeper breath. The fans and supporters from Tokyo continued to cheer loudly, encouraging the players who were gritting their teeth. There was also the figure of player Nakagawa, who applauded and watched until the end with a sense of reluctance.
"It's pathetic that we couldn't show our fighting spirit and feelings. We haven't scored a single point, and we were thrown off our game just a minute and a half in. I'm truly sorry for putting on a performance like that, especially when so many fans and supporters come out to see us. We are able to fight because there are people who kept cheering for us until the end. Given the support we've received, I feel we must listen to that encouragement as much as possible."
It was a scene etched in my heart with the desire to meet expectations. One step ahead of the current situation. That was the vow made as we headed into the match against Sanfrecce Hiroshima in the previous round. Due to the impact of Typhoon No. 10, the travel was moved up by a day, but players like Nakagawa were supposed to charge into enemy territory with enthusiasm.
"In this situation, the fans and supporters want to win the most. They come all the way to the away games, paying a lot of money to cheer for us. We really need to fight in the match and show our determination to win. At times like this, it's important to unite and remember the phrase 'FC Tokyo Family,' working together not just as a team but as one with the fans and supporters. This is the crucial moment. If we can win against an opponent who is currently on a six-game winning streak, it will boost our confidence. In that sense, I'm looking forward to it. Each of us needs to prepare to the best of our ability, and since we lost at PEACE STADIUM in the Levain Cup (YBC), we want to repay that debt. Any goal can change the momentum if we score just one point. We must not lose our confidence."
The Shinkansen that I boarded with those words was stranded at Shin-Fuji Station due to heavy rain in Shizuoka Prefecture. Even after the date changed, the train remained stopped, resulting in about 8 hours of being stuck. After that, I stayed at a hotel near the station. On the evening of the 30th, I moved by bus to a hotel near Haneda Airport, unable to practice the day before. On the morning of the match day, I arrived at Yamaguchi Ube Airport and took about 3 hours by bus to Hiroshima.
The match, which was affected by the typhoon, became a difficult situation as they fell behind by three goals by the 18th minute of the second half. Nevertheless, the players' spirits did not break. In the 34th minute of the second half, Tsuyoshi OGASHIWA scored the team's first goal in five matches, igniting the counterattack.
"What is it? I had the feeling of not giving up, but the players who came on midway boosted the team and had the desire to change the flow. Even when it was 0-3, I did not give up."
Just before the end of the match, player Nakagawa showed his determination. From a short corner, he broke through Hiroshima's solid defense with individual skill, ultimately causing an own goal with a cross that was shot-like. Despite being battered and bruised, he brought the score within one point.
"The short corner was my own decision. To be honest, I didn't feel there was a chance to score from a corner kick. Hiroshima is tall and strong. I thought simply putting the ball in from a corner wouldn't lead to victory. Of course, if it was perfectly placed, it could have been different, but the kicker was not a regular player (Keita ENDO), so that was part of my judgment. I think the opponent was also caught off guard."
However, it was just short. As the long whistle blew, tears overflowed as if to reveal all the emotions that had been held back. Later, they explained the reason for this.
"I am human too, so I have emotions at that time. I think various emotions came out. I just wanted to win. My desire to win came out in various forms. There was also a feeling of shame. After traveling like that and playing a match with a confusing schedule, I had complex feelings. All sorts of emotions overflowed. That's how it felt."
The story is not over yet. I have no intention of ending it in tears. This is because we have not been able to escape the long tunnel of six winless matches.
"I feel that all the pus and poison have been completely expelled in Hiroshima, including the movement. Every match, whether at home or away, we receive strong support. We have a responsibility to respond to that. However, I just want to make everyone smile. Let's win!"
It is clear to anyone that the team situation is not one that can be viewed optimistically, having been without a victory for two months.
But I will never run away.
To fight alongside those who promised victory. That is the 'man’s rule' that Teruhito NAKAGAWA, who has many commitments, has imposed on himself.
Text by Kohei Baba (Freelance Writer)
