Kota Tokiwa took his first step as a professional in the Meiji Yasuda J1 League Sec. 5 match against Shonan Bellmare. Maintaining good form since camp, he finally got the opportunity to step onto the pitch in the J1 League, aiming for a starting position at the season opener. In post-match interviews, he calmly spoke about his position, emphasizing his contribution to the team's victory over his own J1 League debut, which was impressive. Behind this was the encouragement from coach Rikizo MATSUHASHI, who lightened his heart. The wise words from the coach helped the troubled university graduate rookie to look forward, and Tokiwa faced his own mental challenges.
Kota Toki was anxious. He had not been promoted from the academy and, after going through Meiji University, he put on the blue and red jersey again this season. He steadily raised his evaluation from the pre-season camp, and although he made the bench for the opening match against Yokohama FC, he did not get any playing time. His eagerness was growing.
"I was included in the squad for the opening match, but I couldn't play. The next day, I was too tense and ended up overdoing it."
The day after the match, he vowed to make a strong impression by starting in a practice match against the Kanto University Selection while wearing the captain's armband. However, perhaps due to anxiety, his body stiffened, and he lost sight of the plays he should have been able to execute. The team also conceded 4 goals in the first half and lost 4-5.
What am I doing?
After the match, while sitting dejectedly on the pitch in Kodaira, I was approached by Coach Matsuhashi.
"Do not view yourself too highly or too lowly. You must evaluate yourself appropriately."
Saying that, the commander continued in a teaching manner.
"If you look too highly upon yourself and get anxious, you will suffer from the gap between where you are now and your expectations. Conversely, if you underestimate yourself and look too low, it is meaningless even if there are things you can do. Let's objectively assess ourselves and discern what we can and cannot do."
Those words removed Tokiwa's anxiety and lightened his body. He was subsequently left out of the bench from the Meiji Yasuda J1 League Sec. 2 match against FC Machida Zelvia to the Sec. 4 match against Kashima Antlers. It wasn't that there was no frustration. Still, it may have been a necessary time for Tokiwa. During that time, he faced himself.
"That word was significant. The camp started from scratch, and I steadily did what I could in my first year. I think that made me feel like I could be on the bench and might be just one step away from playing. From there, I returned to my roots and was able to approach it with the state and attitude that the coach calls 'neutral.'"
Director Matsuhashi, who has experience coaching teenagers at the academy, said, "I often talked about such things with young players," reflecting on his interactions with Tokiwa.
"I don't think it's necessary to view things from the perspective of myself when things aren't going well. During the camp, I maintained a very good condition and was properly evaluated, having achieved a certain level, yet when things don't go well, I tend to look down. I won't say that young players shouldn't worry, but if they can perceive it as something normal, they will be able to try again. In that sense, I conveyed this message. I believe it's important to see oneself not from above or below at times, but from one's own perspective."
On March 8, in Sec. 5 against Shonan Bellmare, Tokiwa was once again on the bench and made his J1 League debut as a substitute in the 28th minute of the second half. There he was, without hesitation, continuing to do what he could.
In the post-match press conference, when asked by reporters about Tokiwa's evaluation, Coach Matsuhashi commented, "He has been showing promising play while maintaining his attitude and condition since the camp. Since the season started, he has gradually been gaining momentum, and although he hasn't had many opportunities to play until now, he has shown a very good performance towards being included in the squad. I believe he demonstrated that in the game. I hope he can use this match to take another step forward through the experience of playing in the game."
Having seen and heard that, Tokiwa disciplined himself and wound the clock again.
"I think the coach saw that I wasn't able to perform plays that I usually can and expressed it as 'there are ups and downs.' I realized that those ups and downs were influenced by my mental state. I understood that anxiety and looking down on myself too much were creating those fluctuations, and it clicked for me, which was refreshing. However, just because I was seen like that, I shouldn't get complacent. That comment made me feel relieved, but I believe it's not good to be overly anxious just because of my feelings. I have ambition and a strong desire to take a starting position. But I want to avoid getting anxious, not understanding my current position, and looking too high, thinking 'why is this happening.'
To avoid making the same mistakes──. In the practice match against Sendai University the day after the Shonan game, I reminded myself to not think too highly or too lowly of myself. Coach Matsuhashi, who is watching over such significant changes in Tokiwa, said with a narrowed gaze.
"As humans, it's natural to have desires, so I think it's normal to be aware of that. Young players, when things don't go well, tend to think they're in a slump. But they don't have enough experience to really call it a slump, nor do they know their maximum potential. They have so much room to grow from here, and only possibilities ahead of them. When they look at themselves from the highest potential, they might feel like they can't do anything. But if they look up from below, they can only grow from there. I think that's a good perspective. I was often told the same when I was young. It can be discouraging, but it's natural to struggle. It's also important to recognize that it's oneself who raises their own expectations as if they can do it. Even when I became a professional and naturally gained confidence, I still thought, 'No, I'm still at the bottom.' If you understand that position, the view will change."
Tokiwa neither looks up nor down, just facing forward. Coach Matsuhashi gave a gentle push on his back. From here on, it's only about moving forward. A bundle of possibilities has thus taken a strong first step as a professional.
(Honorifics omitted in the text)
Text by Kohei Baba (Freelance Writer)
